Last month I wrote about story telling. Recently I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the flip side of story telling: namely, listening.
Active listening is as important a skill as the ability to create, write, and tell stories. If stories (as I wrote last month) help to weave the fabric of our society, bind us together, and are integral to the human experience, then it should go without saying that intentional and focused listening is also right up there on the hierarchy of essential skills.
The encouragement and development of listening skills occurs at West Chester Friends School from the earliest moments of each day. During morning meetings (an integral part of Responsive Classroom), students and teachers first greet each other while making eye contact and using names, taking turns to speak and listen to each other - a simple task that is at the heart of good communication. Morning meetings also include sharing when, again, as much emphasis is placed on listening and asking questions as on whatever is being shared.
Listening is essential to learning experiences throughout the day and is particularly important during special events. When, for example, the fifth grade opened the doors to the Native American museum they created last week, younger students were instructed before entering to be a good audience for the oldest students’ presentations - and they were! Tomorrow, during Grandparents and Special Friends Day, many students will spend time hearing about what school and life in general were like for their elder friends. Such inter-generational conversations are invaluable.
Meeting for Worship is the centerpiece of our week. While some may say that it is simply “sitting in silence,” it can be a much deeper experience. Many Quakers describe meeting as sitting “in expectant waiting,” listening for the “still small voice” that is in each one of us. While the “success” of a meeting does not depend upon whether anyone speaks, it is encouraging when students do rise to share a message - what Quakers call “vocal ministry.” The act of listening to these messages, and taking them with us, play an equal role in the vitality of a meeting.
Last week I had the good fortune to hear Michele Norris, co-host of NPR’s All Things Considered, speak about her new book, The Grace of Silence. In the wake of the 2008 presidential election, she had “set out to write a book exploring America’s hidden conversation about race but changed course when (she) started listening to the hidden conversations in (her) own family.” In several cases, Norris told her audience, she needed to wait patiently for months before some stories were shared. The result of her patience and listening is a compelling memoir, not only of her family, but of a not-so-distant piece of our nation’s story.
From Michele Norris I also learned about the National Day of Listening, which is coming up this Friday. The day was established by StoryCorps as an encouragement to sit and have a meaningful conversation with someone special on the day after Thanksgiving, rather than head to the mall. You may be familiar with StoryCorps’ project to collect audio recordings of interviews as an oral history archive. Trying to accomplish that may be too much for this weekend, but it’s not too much to simply sit with a relative or friend . . . and listen.
This year, the theme for the National Day of Listening is “Thank a teacher,” with the suggestion that we reach out to a favorite teacher - by calling, writing a note, or posting a message on their site - to say, “Thank you for touching my life.”
What better way to show that we were listening?
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