Of Songs, Family, and Journeys . . . and Farewell

I am writing this to you on my last official day as Head of West Chester Friends School.  Yesterday I passed my set of keys on to Lynn Oberfield, who will be Interim Head of School for the coming year.  I am thrilled that Lynn has accepted this role, and know that she will serve our school with wisdom and compassion.

Being Head of School is a job that I truly love, and I am grateful to have had the honor of serving in this capacity at West Chester Friends School for the past twelve years.  Two aspects of my job that I particularly enjoy are when I have the opportunity to write and speak – especially when doing so involves reflecting upon the shared experiences of our school community.  As I have approached the end of my time at WCFS, I have done quite a bit of reflecting upon my experiences over the past twelve years.  I had the chance to speak about them at the party that was held for my family and me (with many thanks to those of you who attended!), and am pleased to repeat them here. 

(Side note: It is interesting to me that when I began at the school a letter like this would have been printed, copied, and sent through the mail.  While some letters still go out that way, today’s default is to send by email and post on the blog.  I suppose that’s one way to measure the passing of twelve years!)

 

Of Songs, Family, and Journeys

My West Chester Friends School experience began with a song.  My very first day on campus, when interviewing for the position, included a meeting with Teacher Gerri’s fifth grade class who had carefully prepared questions to ask me.  Teacher John Scardina was in the room as a member of the search committee and suggested that they begin by singing “Circle of Friends” for me.  I happened to be familiar with the song and sang along.   The expression on John’s face revealed that he was both surprised and impressed.  No matter how qualified I may or may not have been for the job, I like to joke, the fact that I already knew “Circle of Friends” had sealed the deal!

I am fond of saying that “this is a school that sings.”  Singing has long been a part of the school’s culture, and it is even more so today than when I began.  I am proud of that fact.  The expression can be taken literally.  We sing every Monday morning at Gathering.  The monthly Meeting for Singing is a new tradition which many believe is perhaps the most beautiful illustration of the spirit of our school.  Commencement exercises include four times as many songs as they did twelve years ago.  “A school that sings” is also a metaphor.  The harmony that comes from teachers working together and the joyful buzz that emanates from the classrooms and across the school yard are all made possible through many voices figuratively joining together in song.  And, as we all know from having tunes stuck in our heads, good songs stay with us.

We often refer to WCFS as a community.  For my family, that sense of community has special meaning.  When we arrived in West Chester, my wife Melinda was pregnant with our first child.  Being the daughter of two teachers, Ellie dutifully arrived on the first day of school.  From that day forward, my experience as Head of School was intertwined with our experience as parents.  When, four years later, Ellie entered pre-kindergarten (to be followed by her brothers, James and William), I had the great fortune to see the work of our teachers not just through the eyes of a proud boss, but also through the eyes of an appreciative parent.  Melinda and I will be forever grateful to the entire faculty, staff, and administration for the incomparable learning experiences they provided our three children, and for the love and care that they so freely shared with them – and with us.

Journeys can be exciting and sad, all at the same time.  As my daughter recently pointed out, we never know as much about where we are going as we do about what we are leaving behind.  And this brings me back to songs.  Good songs stay with us.

The WCFS experience is a song.  Those of us who leave – whether we've graduated or retired or are moving on to a new school – take the song with us wherever we go.

Our family's journey here began with a song when this “Circle of Friends” opened to welcome us in.  Twelve years later, some new songs have been added to the school’s repertoire.  One of my new favorites is “River,” in which the singer is taken along on a river's journey from the mountains “down to the sea.”  During our last Meeting for Singing of the year, I paid greater attention to the lyrics than I had before and, to use a Quaker expression, found that they “spoke to my condition.”

I've been to the city & back again

I've been moved by some things that I've learned

Met a lot of good people & I called them friends

Felt the change when the seasons turned

So here's to the rainbow that followed me here

And here's to the friends that I know

And here's to the song that's within me now

I will sing it where'er I go

In peace and friendship, farewell!

("River" by Bill Staines, copyright Mineral River Music)

Earth Day and Good Manners

The daffodils have bloomed in the bird garden, the magnolia tree by the Activities Building is in its full glory, and Jeremiah the Bullfrog has made his presence known in the pond. Spring has definitely arrived here on campus!

This past Monday was Earth Day, which is both a celebration of spring and a reminder of our responsibility to be good stewards of the environment. In recognition of the day, our entire school enjoyed lunch and play time together on the lawn. Then we split into our mulit-age worship sharing groups to participate in four activities: a recycling relay;

an “Earth Toss” game; creating a work of art from recycled materials; and decorating a globe with paper doll versions of ourselves that included “what I value about the Earth” statements. In addition to being a lot of fun on a beautiful afternoon, the activities were opportunities to practice stewardship (which is the Quaker testimony we have been focusing on this month), and encourage the children to take these skills and behavior with them into their homes and into the wider world.

At Gathering that morning, we focused on another category of “skills and behaviors” that we hope our children will take with them out into the world: good manners. WCFS students are generally polite young people, but there's always room for improvement when it comes to exhibiting our best behavior at all times. Teacher Caroline and I performed a brief skit that emphasized the importance of a proper greeting. Our students are well practiced at greeting each other properly during morning meetings. They shake hands, make eye contact, and use each others' names. We don't need to stop and shake hands every time we see someone during the day, but I encouraged everyone to try during the week to make every greeting more than just a half-hearted hello. We will highlight a different manner at each Gathering through the end of the year. Next week's topic: table manners!

Behind the Scenes on In-Service Day

A week ago today we were on the tail end of a long weekend – a weekend that, for some, was a bit longer than for others. Students and (hopefully) their parents enjoyed a four-day weekend. For members of our faculty it was a three-day weekend, as we spent that Friday at school for an in-service day.

I imagine our students might sometimes wonder, “What do teachers do at school when we're not there, anyway?” I thought I would describe a bit of this most recent in-service day, in part to answer the question (in case you were wondering the same thing) and also to provide a glimpse into the kind of professional discourse that occurs among our faculty.

Generally speaking, an in-service day provides a chance for the faculty to spend an extended amount of time on a topic or task; more time than we have, for example, in faculty meetings that occur after a school day. Sometimes the day involves a guest speaker or training, or time for committees to meet, or time for teachers to write progress reports.

On this in-service day, we chose to spend time on a few topics that are of particular interest to various members of our faculty and about which all of us would benefit from learning and discussing. Here is a sampling:

• Teacher Amy led a mindfulness relaxation exercise called “anchor breathing.” Students have been learning mindfulness practices, which increase focus and decrease stress and anxiousness, in guidance classes. Becoming familiar with these practices as teachers is good for each of us, individually, and paves the way for making them part of our daily routine with students.
• We viewed a TEDTalk called “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are,” given by social psychologist Amy Cuddy. We probably all know that body language affects how others see us, but apparently it may also change how we see ourselves. According to Cuddy's research, standing in a posture of confidence can have a physiological and neurological effect that impacts our chances for success. Viewing this talk prompted conversation among teachers about the effects of our own body language as well as that of our students, and steps we might take to utilize Cuddy's findings in the classroom.
• We listened to portions of a Voices in the Family (WHYY-FM) interview of Dr. Ken Ginsburg and Susan Fitzgerald, authors of Raising Responsible, Resilient, Self-Sufficient Teens in the 21^st Century. Here are some quotes from the interview that sparked conversation among our group: “Perfectionism is the death of creativity and innovation.” "Teaching you how to be resilient is not about teaching you to be successful, it's about teaching you how to respond when you are not." "Mistakes are the raw materials to help us build the foundation for success." (see end note)
• And, finally, we viewed an interview of Paul Tough, author of How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character (warning: if you view the video, take the interviewer with a grain of salt and focus on what Tough has to say). In his New York Times bestseller, Tough counters the prevailing belief that success comes to those with the highest test scores. The qualities that matter most, he says, have more to do with character: perseverance, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, and self-control. While these are skills that are instilled as early as infancy and nurtured through our parenting, the notion leads to wondering among educators about how these skills can be further nurtured and assessed through a child's school years. After reading the book (which I recommend to you), I took part in a book talk with other heads of elementary schools around the country in which we discussed strategies to make character skills a more meaningful part of how we assess students, and the ways that this relates to competitive admission to secondary schools and colleges (i.e. If the research proves that character skills are more indicative of success than test scores, then how do we get admissions offices to recognize and value these attributes?).

Professional development, of course, takes many shapes and forms. In addition to the generative discussions that happen here at school among our faculty, there are many opportunities to attend workshops and conferences. I am very excited that the largest conference of independent school professionals – the National Association of Independent Schools Annual Conference – is taking place in Philadelphia later this week. I am especially pleased that a team of eight WCFS teachers, administrators, and board members will be joining more than 5,000 of our colleagues to hear the keynote speakers and to learn from peers from independent schools around the country. Who knows? I might have more to report after that experience!

(Note: Dr. Ken Ginsburg will be speaking at Woodlynde School on Thursday, April 18, 7:00-9:00 p.m.  Click here for more information and to register.)